


What if?

by cr9vitys



Category: A.C.E (Beat Interactive Band)
Genre: M/M, basically i'm hurting junhee again, i'll edit once i have the time i just don't wanna lose the idea sbhjdgjs, this sucks, uhhh this was unedited, unrequited??????
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-27
Updated: 2019-11-27
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:35:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21577678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cr9vitys/pseuds/cr9vitys
Summary: “What if?”Two words. Hell, only two fucking words – but somehow these two words always seem to find a way through Junhee’s heart and slowly tear it piece by piece.
Relationships: Lee Donghun/Park Junhee | Jun
Comments: 2
Kudos: 23





	What if?

“What if?”

Two words. Hell, only two fucking words – but somehow these two words always seem to find a way through Junhee’s heart and slowly tear it piece by piece.

What if?

What if he left the coffee shop five minutes earlier? Would Junhee still find him by the window, listening to The Beatles? They talked for hours that day, and looking back, Junhee never thought that a boy like him could make him feel all these emotions that he never even knew existed.

_“Hi, can I sit here? Everywhere else is taken,” Junhee’s voice is small, a cup of strawberry and cream frappe in his hand as he approaches a man sitting alone by the window. It was true, every seat was taken, and Junhee’s wondering why the coffee shop was all the hit now since it used to be quiet but it was a thought to think of for a different moment. Now he’s just waiting for the man to respond – and he’s hoping the boy would say yes because really – he’s got no choice._

_The boy barely lifts his head up to look at Junhee, and his stare makes the latter quite nervous, but he nods just as Junhee’s running his hand through his hair to ease up the tension he was feeling within himself._

_Junhee smiles, doesn’t waste any more time as he pulls the chair to sit on it, facing the boy. “Thank you. I’m Junhee, by the way. Park Junhee.”_

_The stranger nods, immersed in what he was reading as he pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose. He belatedly notices that the male was wearing earphones and Junhee glances at his phone, suddenly excited about how the stranger was listening to his favourite band but Junhee thinks he doesn’t want to talk and it’s okay – of course, so Junhee makes a mental note to himself to keep himself quiet and avoid initiating unnecessary conversations though he thinks it’d be hard since he’s talkative and he admits it himself. And as per usual, he’s arguing with his own self already, in his easily distracted mind, but then the other boy speaks, and Junhee’s suddenly focused because god, the boy was beautiful and his voice is, too, apparently._

_“I know you, and you’re cute. I’m Donghun.”_

_“Oh, uhm, wow, thank you?” Junhee stutters, and Donghun smiles at the blush spreading across his cheek. “And oh my God, you listen to The Beatles, I love them.”_

What if?

What if Junhee gave up on them one time they fought? What if he just left? Would they still have those lazy Sunday mornings wherein they just lay in bed all day? Would Donghun still be there one Tuesday night when Junhee completely lost it and just cried? Junhee could still remember how Donghun held him so tight and how he kept reminding Junhee that everything was going to be okay.

_“I’m so sick of this, Donghun, it’s the same cycle! All over again,” Junhee’s almost shouting, his voice is shaking, tears streaming down his face._

_They’ve been fighting, over the same reasons. Junhee’s tired of going through the same thing over and over again._

_“I’m sick of this too! I’m so fucking tired of you.”_

_Junhee’s jaw drops, and his mouth is left open. He’s speechless – what was it Donghun said? His words were marked with finality and it seemed it was going to be the end of this. Junhee goes numb, feels stupid, wonders why the hell he invested so much time for the person who was gonna break his heart in the end._

_But it wasn’t right. Donghun’s the love of his life, his partner, his better half. This isn’t the end and he knows. It proves to be right when Donghun punches the wall and walks towards him, envelopes Junhee in his arms, hugs him so tight and the younger feels like it’s bringing him back piece by piece, gluing his broken heart altogether like it wasn’t shattered just by the same man a few moments ago. But it doesn’t matter. Donghun is here and he will always be._

Donghun was wrong, though.

Because if there’s one thing Junhee’s learn – it’s that things don’t stay “okay” forever.

“What if?”

Two fucking words. Two fucking words that kept repeating again and again in Junhee’s head when those three words were all he needed from Donghun.

What if?

What if he didn’t come home that night? What if he didn’t find Donghun on the couch with his lips locked with someone else’s? Would he still be here with Junhee? Junhee swears to God some nights he could still hear Donghun saying “I don’t love you anymore” over and over.

_Junhee thinks he’s going deaf. There’s a ringing in his ear and he wants to run. Wants to escape. Wants to cry his heart out and curse everything. But he does nothing and just stares, watches his boyfriend kiss someone else that isn’t him. He watches just as his boyfriend’s hands wander all over someone else’s body, touch what he isn’t supposed to touch, kiss what he isn’t supposed to kiss, make love to someone he isn’t supposed to make love to._

_His hands were balled into fists, nails digging into his own palms just as Donghun opens his eyes and catches sight of him standing at the door. Junhee wants to laugh as Donghun disentangles himself from whoever it was he took home. He could enumerate all the things Donghun might say, would probably say he’ll explain, or it was a misunderstanding, or he didn’t mean it and was just carried away._

_“Jun…” Donghun makes his way towards him, and Junhee shakes his head. He’s not for it. He’s not listening. Maybe he will, but not this time. He doesn’t want his decisions and his heart blinded by the pain caused by what he saw._

_“No,” is all that Junhee says before leaving, closing the door calmly behind his back._

What if?

What if Donghun actually loved him back? Would the sound of his name still make Junhee’s throat tighten? Would the memory of him still make Junhee’s stomach sink to his feet? Because, fuck, after he left all Junhee could ever write about was how every god damn piece of him was shattered by Donghun’s absence.

“What if?”

Two words. Two words that never left Junhee’s mind. Two words that kept him up every night. Their story wasn’t something you would write on a book. Junhee gets it – they didn’t last. They never would’ve made it. But he swears to God there hasn’t been a day Junhee didn’t ask this to himself;

**What if they actually did?**

**Author's Note:**

> hello, thank you for reading! ik my writing sucks but !! here we are haha,, haha,,, omf anyway, i hope you still liked it!


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